As we find ourselves in this time of Thanksgiving, our hearts and minds (and TVs, radios, and billboards) have been filled for weeks with visions of feasts, gathered friends and family, and the idea of thankfulness.
But, now that we are actually here, ready to celebrate the day of Thanksgiving, I can feel my body hesitate. I can feel my heels digging in and the little voice screaming out in the back of my mind, "But, wait!" Wait! What about the children who will go hungry this week, here in the United States, as they are surrounded by visions of feasts? Wait! What about the people of St. Louis and Ferguson who continue to rage and wail and fight for justice that will not come? Wait! What about the thousands of immigrants who wonder what this executive order from President Obama might mean for them, if it's really safe to come out of the shadows? And (because I, like many, am stuck in my own head and self and worldview), wait! What about how I wanted things to be this November? What about the job I wanted? The home I wanted? The dreams I have that haven't yet come true?
How can we give thanks when all these things are going on? What does giving thanks mean in a broken world?
The Bible certainly holds many passages about giving thanks: from the laws about ways to give thanks to God, to Jesus breaking bread and giving thanks as he shares food with his disciples and the crowds, to the apostles reenacting Jesus' last supper. As I looked through the many biblical references to "thanksgiving," my mind kept returning to this e.e. cummings poem:
i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
--e.e. cummings
This poem never stops bringing tears into my eyes. And, for me this thanksgiving, it reminds me what it means to give thanks. Because it doesn't ignore what is going on around us and in us- it names it as the "no" of the world- the "no of nothing at all" from which we all need to be lifted. And it reminds us that in this hubbub of a broken world full of unachieved dreams, we are also citizens of the God-made world which is "everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes."
This reminds me that giving thanks isn't ignoring the disappointments or the hurts around me, but being able to see, amongst the brokenness, the joy in the now. And not just to see it, but to taste it, touch it, hear it, see it, imagine it. As some of you pointed out after my last post, yes, God is in this moment waiting for us, as God is in every moment and everything, trying to pull us out of this world's "NO!" into God's every moment "YES!"
This poem urges us to take a deep breath, close our eyes and open them again, and notice. Notice the soft grasp of that child's hand around yours. Notice the yellow-blue-pink-all faceted gleam of sunshine on cold snow. Notice the pulse of the neighbor's music urging your hips to move. Notice the laughter bubbling up from the crowded room, the warmth that rises up from the conversation.
This is God, pulsing through every moment and hour. Reminding us when our hearts are heavy, that we are a people of YES.
May we live this YES for ourselves and attempt to create a world where God's YES is a YES for everyone.
May the ears of my ears awaken and the eyes of my eyes be opened.
Blessings on your Thanksgiving, G
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Waiting for God...
Waiting. It's something I find myself doing far more often than I'd like. Sometimes I can be patient- I don't mind the red lights, the bank lines, or the commercial breaks like some people do. It's more the waiting for my shift to be done, or for the phone to ring, or for a church to finally choose me as their pastor. That's the waiting that gets under my skin, makes me feel like my blood is pulsing too fast, and makes me suspicious that the world has somehow been turned onto slow motion. That's the waiting that reminds me how impatient I can be and makes me see how different my life is from how I dreamed it would be. I feel like I'm waiting for my real life to start.
As I searched for Bible verses about waiting, I found this verse of Psalm 69:
I am weary with my crying;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
While my waiting does seem to dim my eyes and weary my parched throat (my current waiting includes a headcold), reading this verse it struck me how interesting it is to think about this waiting I'm doing as waiting for God.
In our busy lives, we're used to waiting for things to happen: babies to be born, jobs to be gotten, holidays to arrive. But, usually that waiting is something we can measure or control. We can count the days, or increase our effort, or find something to do in the meantime. But, waiting for God. That's something that feels uncomfortable. It's unmeasurable, it's uncontrollable, and it's unpredictable.
Yet, here I am waiting for God. I'm waiting for God to show me what to do next, which church is the right one for me, whether this is even the correct path. And this waiting for God feels...anxious. Like I should be doing more to make something happen. I feel like I'm not doing all I could be doing, like I'm giving up and letting someone else be in charge.
Knowing this, though, I have to recognize that waiting for God does mean letting go. Waiting for God doesn't have a time limit and I don't know what the result will be. Worse, it means I don't get to control the result. Of course I can choose what to do with what comes, but I don't get to choose which door will open, which invitation will come, which phone call will be the one. I don't know even know WHAT exactly I'm waiting for (though I know what I WANT to be waiting for), I just know who.
The Taize community in France has worship songs that are repetitive in words and meditative in sound. One came to mind as I was thinking on this topic of waiting.
Taize Song
Wait for the Lord, whose day is near
Wait for the Lord, be strong take heart
And so I wait. And this repetitive song becomes my mantra. Be strong, take heart. And I hope that God's day is near.
May we all be filled with strength in our waiting.
Blessings, G
As I searched for Bible verses about waiting, I found this verse of Psalm 69:
I am weary with my crying;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
While my waiting does seem to dim my eyes and weary my parched throat (my current waiting includes a headcold), reading this verse it struck me how interesting it is to think about this waiting I'm doing as waiting for God.
In our busy lives, we're used to waiting for things to happen: babies to be born, jobs to be gotten, holidays to arrive. But, usually that waiting is something we can measure or control. We can count the days, or increase our effort, or find something to do in the meantime. But, waiting for God. That's something that feels uncomfortable. It's unmeasurable, it's uncontrollable, and it's unpredictable.
Yet, here I am waiting for God. I'm waiting for God to show me what to do next, which church is the right one for me, whether this is even the correct path. And this waiting for God feels...anxious. Like I should be doing more to make something happen. I feel like I'm not doing all I could be doing, like I'm giving up and letting someone else be in charge.
Knowing this, though, I have to recognize that waiting for God does mean letting go. Waiting for God doesn't have a time limit and I don't know what the result will be. Worse, it means I don't get to control the result. Of course I can choose what to do with what comes, but I don't get to choose which door will open, which invitation will come, which phone call will be the one. I don't know even know WHAT exactly I'm waiting for (though I know what I WANT to be waiting for), I just know who.
The Taize community in France has worship songs that are repetitive in words and meditative in sound. One came to mind as I was thinking on this topic of waiting.
Taize Song
Wait for the Lord, whose day is near
Wait for the Lord, be strong take heart
And so I wait. And this repetitive song becomes my mantra. Be strong, take heart. And I hope that God's day is near.
May we all be filled with strength in our waiting.
Blessings, G
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Rushing Around
"I wish I had time to go to church." "We'd love to find a church..." "I'm not really...churchy."
These are all things people say to me when I talk about being a pastor. And, I get it.
I remember in college, feeling so stressed with all the things I had to do. I remember the struggle of deciding on Sunday morning whether to tough it up and climb out of bed to join my friend's carpool to church or to give myself a free pass and take the morning to sleep in. Church became just one more thing on my to-do list, something I felt guilty about not doing.
I do not want this blog to be like that.
I remember, too, when I was teaching middle schoolers in Oakland and I would count down the days until I got to go to church. Church was the place where I could hear about God in our world, where I could sing and pray, where I could meet people and laugh, where I could just be me- not a struggling teacher, a lonely young person in a new city- just me, a child of God, beloved by a community. I loved connecting with people and having time to think about the Bible or wonder how God was reaching out to me. It was my place; a true rest from the difficult days of the week.
That's what I want this blog to be: a space of rest and a place to wonder about God.
What will that look like? My plan is each week to look at a different topic through the lens of the Bible and spirituality. How does God meet us in our daily lives? Sometimes I will look at the Bible text for the week (most mainline churches follow the same texts throughout the year- it's called the Revised Common Lectionary), sometimes I will look at a topic that's come up in the news and let that dictate the Bible readings we look at, and sometimes I will just go with what's on my mind.
It won't be a sermon, or a thesis...just some thoughts and ideas about things going on in this world and where God might be in them.
I hope that as I write about things on my mind, you will feel free to start up conversation, respond to ideas, or bring up issues on your mind. You're welcome to join in whether you are a pastor, an avid church goer, someone who hasn't been to church in forever or someone who has never been in a church. I hope that we can challenge one another in love, remembering that each and every day we are beloved children of God.
Blessings on your week, G
These are all things people say to me when I talk about being a pastor. And, I get it.
I remember in college, feeling so stressed with all the things I had to do. I remember the struggle of deciding on Sunday morning whether to tough it up and climb out of bed to join my friend's carpool to church or to give myself a free pass and take the morning to sleep in. Church became just one more thing on my to-do list, something I felt guilty about not doing.
I do not want this blog to be like that.
I remember, too, when I was teaching middle schoolers in Oakland and I would count down the days until I got to go to church. Church was the place where I could hear about God in our world, where I could sing and pray, where I could meet people and laugh, where I could just be me- not a struggling teacher, a lonely young person in a new city- just me, a child of God, beloved by a community. I loved connecting with people and having time to think about the Bible or wonder how God was reaching out to me. It was my place; a true rest from the difficult days of the week.
That's what I want this blog to be: a space of rest and a place to wonder about God.
What will that look like? My plan is each week to look at a different topic through the lens of the Bible and spirituality. How does God meet us in our daily lives? Sometimes I will look at the Bible text for the week (most mainline churches follow the same texts throughout the year- it's called the Revised Common Lectionary), sometimes I will look at a topic that's come up in the news and let that dictate the Bible readings we look at, and sometimes I will just go with what's on my mind.
It won't be a sermon, or a thesis...just some thoughts and ideas about things going on in this world and where God might be in them.
I hope that as I write about things on my mind, you will feel free to start up conversation, respond to ideas, or bring up issues on your mind. You're welcome to join in whether you are a pastor, an avid church goer, someone who hasn't been to church in forever or someone who has never been in a church. I hope that we can challenge one another in love, remembering that each and every day we are beloved children of God.
Blessings on your week, G
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